torsdag 16. februar 2012

Dagens tilbud: Konjakk. Ta 4 - betal for 1!

Eg har fått meg deltidsjobb. På et hotell. Det e rektigt så triveligt, å byr på nye både lette å mindre lette utfordringa. Mange hotell har ein bar. Det har faktisk dette hotelle åg.
Mange har både gode å dårlige forhold te bara. Dei fleste som gjest der jedna. Det har eg og. Eg begynte tidligt å gå på bar. Trur faktisk ikkje eg kan ha vore mer enn en 6-7 år gammale når eg bestilte mine fysste drinka. Store dela av barndommen min blei tilbrakt på bar. Ikkje aleina, nei, så ansvarslause foreldre he eg ikkje. Heile familien, å av å te et par vennefamilia åg, va me.

Probleme e bare det, at andre folk ikkje e på jakt itte dei same tingå så eg va (å e) i en bar. Eg har rett å slett blitt lurte gjennom heile oppveksten for ka så egentle skjer i en bar. For meg e en bar en plass du klatre opp på en høge stol, spør om mannen der bag kan miksa en barnadrink, å så byde du syne av farga, risting, knusing av is - før en salige blanding syre å e stoff dukke opp i et fancy glas me sugerør, paraply å en fruktbede. I tillegg sidde der en pianist, som ikkje trenge lesa node, men bare spele det eina theme frå Lion king itte det andra.
Eg har blitt lurt. det e kje sånn det i virkeligheden e. Så langt har nemligt ikkje ein einaste bestilt barnadrink. Ingen. Ikkje ein sjel sedde seg oppå barkrakken å spør om eg kan miksa en barnadrink te di. 

Her en dag kom der en mann skråsikkert inn dørene å i retning baren. Kollegaen min va ikkje der, så eg såg ingen aen udvei enn å gå bort te an. Han sko ikkje ha barnadrink. Ikkje sko an ha bar ei ferige flaska eg konne komma unna me å bare ta av korken på heller. Nei, han sko ha konjakk. Eg bestilte aldri konjakk som 6-7 åring - å ikkje i seinare tid heller.

Eg omtale frå nå av meg sjøl som bartender.

Bartender: "Eg trur eg må henta hu andra - eg e kje så dreven her eg ser du."
Gjest: "Det gjøkke noe. Jeg ække nøye jeg."
Bartender: "Jo, men du ser det at eg vett kje ka flaska det e en gong eg."
Gjest: "Jeg skal vise deg jeg." 

Han peikte ud flaskå for meg.

Bartender: "Takk."

Eg tog flaskå, å lod auene gli øve adle alternativå me glas. Det va mange glas det.
Gjest: "Det er den rett framfor deg."

Eg va strålande fornøyd me å sleppa å spør, å tenkte at nå, nå fikse eg det. Det gjorde eg så absolutt ikkje. Eg hadde glaset, eg hadde det så sko oppi glaset - men eg klarte kje forena dei to. Glaset sto å gjorde jobben sin på adle måda, men flaskå ville kje opp.

Bartender: "Okey, nå må eg jaffal henta hu andra - eg klare jo kje åpna flaskå en gong."
Gjest: "Gi den til meg du, jeg skal vise deg jeg." 

Han åpna, å ga flaskå tebage te meg. Egentle konne an jo bare komt bag disken å gjort alt fra a te å sjøl. Eg takkte, høflige så eg e, tog flaskå - å hellde. Å hellde. Å hellde. Det e jo mesten et studie for seg sjøl det der me kor møje der ska ver i glaset av dei ulike drikkane. Det har eg aldri sett meg så veldigt inn i. Så eg fylte opp, å sette glaset stolt framføre gjesten.
An såg småpaff ud. Såg på meg me store aue.

Gjest: "Kødder du med meg eller? Veit du hva du har gjort? Du kommer til å få sparken hvis noen ser deg nå. Fire konjakk har du gitt meg i det der glasset der! Har du sett en konjakk før eller?"

Bartender: "Jamen, eg sa jo eg hadde kje peiling på dette her, eg vett jo kje kor møje der ska ver. Eg kan fylla vannglas eg - det kan eg.

Gjest: "Ser du det lille målebegeret der. ET sånt skal jeg ha."

Bartender: "Åh..bare et sånnet..? Oidå, ja då va det jedna litt møje då..."

Gjest: "Nå kunna jeg bare ha stikki av, men nå skal jeg redde deg her før noen ser deg. Hell tilbake i flaska, så måler du opp EN konjakk til meg."

Bartenderen gjorde som hu blei bedt om, sølte mesteparten udføre flaskå i prestasjonsangst å panikk øve at någen sko komma å det hu hadde gjort sko åpenbaras - å målte opp ein ny konjakk te gjesten.

Eg trur kje eg ska ver så møje i baren mer. Ikkje før me går øve te å kun sella barnadrinka å pianisten me Lion King sangane e på plass. Ikkje ha så møje salg å kampanja me "4 for 1" jaffal...

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